As is sometimes the case, relationships don’t always work out the way people intend. You might discover that your interests, ideas and values don’t mesh well or you no longer feel the same about each other.
When that time comes, it may be time to end your relationship for good. Luckily, there are healthy ways of breaking up with a boyfriend should that become the best decision for both of you.
1. Don’t text him
There is no one-size-fits-all way to end a relationship, but here are a few things you should keep in mind when making this difficult decision. A breakup may not be easy, but it can help both of you move on with life more freely.
People often try to avoid or quickly handle breakup conversations, but that isn’t always the best approach. Take your time, think it over carefully, and try not to rush things.
So that when entering into conversation, you know exactly what and why to say; thus avoiding saying things which could hurt more than intended.
No matter the decision, always be sensitive and considerate when conveying the reasons for your breakup to him. Doing this will allow both of you to move on more easily and become happier again.
2. Don’t call him
One of the best ways to break up with your boyfriend is not contacting him directly. While this may sound counterintuitive, this approach is the most mature.
If you decide that it is time to end the relationship, be as honest and upfront with him about it as possible.
Avoid giving him any reason to believe you want him back and ensure the separation goes as smoothly as possible.
When calling, try to choose a time and day when he will have more opportunity to answer and respond.
If he doesn’t want to talk with you, that could indicate something is amiss between the two of you and it would be wiser for both of you to move on and find someone more compatible.
3. Don’t talk to him
Breaking up with someone you still care about can be hard, but knowing when it’s time to break things off is crucial.
To do this effectively and in an appropriate manner, the best approach is having an adult and respectful dialogue with him.
Your conversation can take place either face-to-face or over the phone; just make sure that nothing you say triggers his anger and causes him to respond by striking back in any way.
Avoid ghosting him on social media and deleting his messages as this is an inconsiderate way of ending communication, leading only to more anger in the future.
4. Don’t hang out with him
Don’t feel pressured into agreeing to any social activities you don’t wish to participate in; doing so is crucial in safeguarding both your self-esteem and maintaining healthy social networks.
Jules Hirst, an etiquette expert and co-author of The Power of Civility, emphasizes the importance of saying no in a manner which honors your boundaries while still respecting and thanking the other party.
If he’s asked you out, here are 10 reasons why it might not be wise for both of you to hang out. These suggestions come from experts in the fields of etiquette, health and morals.
5. Don’t go out with friends
One of the best ways to move past an ex is to focus on yourself. That means setting aside time for friends and family while at the same time making sure you protect the time you devote to him; no one wants to feel like their needs have been taken over by you!
One way to combat this situation is to consult your friends on what makes for a good friend, as well as how they would handle an event involving your ex. Additionally, sharing the real reason you broke up will go a long way toward soothing nerves and helping you move past an ex more quickly. In the end though, only you know what works for you — just remember the most essential rule is honesty with yourself and others — the more intimately acquainted both parties become the better they’ll know one another.
6. Don’t go out with anyone else
When breaking up with someone, it is essential that both parties understand why the relationship has come to an end in an open and respectful manner and prevent repeating negative patterns with future partners.
But sometimes it can be challenging to inform a significant other of your desire to part ways, especially if they have been supportive and invested in the relationship.
If your relationship is becoming more stressful than joyful, Amy Cullins, Ph.D., an internationally recognized licensed clinical psychologist and founder of The Love Lab suggests it may be time for it to end.
As soon as your relationship begins to break down, ask yourself whether the good times outweigh the bad ones in terms of happiness and vice versa.
7. Don’t sleep with anyone else
No matter the state of your relationship, knowing when it’s time to part ways is key. This is especially essential if sexy things become an issue – be open about your intentions early and don’t wait till the last moment before communicating them to your partner.
At the same time, it is wise to select an appropriate time and place to break the news to him so as not to alarm or shock him with your announcement. Perhaps arrange to speak to him during a leisurely weekend night when they don’t need to juggle work or family obligations.
Make sure that you do your part to maintain good health after any major breakup by taking a bath or shower post-breakup. Not only will it leave you feeling refreshed, but it’ll help prevent sickness from striking as well! And the best part? No one needs to do this alone!
8. Don’t go to parties
When it comes to breaking up, certain actions should be avoided – one of them being attending parties.
Rehashing past events or speaking about your ex with others may make it harder to accept that the relationship actually ended.
Reconciling with your ex is also not advised as this could make him think that you still wish for him.
Truth be told, if your and your boyfriend’s personalities do not mesh and if the relationship no longer serves your needs, it may be time for an end.
Relationship expert Crystal Cullins advises that to effectively break up with your partner, both parties must be treated with dignity. She stresses the importance of understanding that your own feelings should take priority over his.
9. Don’t talk to anyone else
When the time has come for you and your partner to part ways, it is necessary for both of you to have an honest discussion about why things have gone south between them. Though difficult, expressing yourself clearly will ensure a productive outcome.
Planning this conversation ahead can help you navigate it with greater ease and avoid embarrassment. Make sure that the meeting location is private so the discussion won’t happen in front of others.
After your conversation is complete, it is wise to keep things low-key and remain noncommittal. Do not plan romantic dates or other activities while you remain together as this could only exacerbate emotions further and hinder healing.
10. Don’t talk to him on the phone
If you are approaching a breakup with your partner, it would be wise to avoid communicating on the telephone as this makes it harder for him to understand what you’re trying to convey when communicating via phone call.
Furthermore, they could suspect you of trying to avoid talking or coming up with excuses just so they can escape it.
Before initiating a conversation, make sure that he or she is out and you are both in an informal, quiet setting.
If you can have your conversation in a relaxed setting, it will be much easier for him to understand what you are trying to convey and he may even agree more quickly to a breakup when there is no miscommunication between the parties or making up stories just to avoid discussing issues directly with him.
