Dating apps can be frustrating, yet many don’t understand that their problems go beyond structural. A world brimming with avatars, Discord chat rooms, and gamer tags from Destiny makes it hard to connect beyond words on a screen – leading to endless swipes and lonely nights.
No matter your motives for using apps to meet people, having a clear goal in mind before beginning can help ensure you don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t share your romantic objectives. Make sure your profile reflects that goal – for instance if seeking “the one”, avoid talking too much about travel when communicating your search – it will only get you so far.
“Kissing many frogs” holds true when it comes to dating apps; finding quality matches may even be more challenging online than it would be offline due to limited information about one another on dating apps. People usually know more about each other before meeting, either because their friends introduced them or because they had prior conversations over text/phone; on the contrary, you typically only know very limited details about someone you meet through one.
That makes it more likely you’ll fall for someone who doesn’t actually have your best interests at heart, making it more challenging for you to recognize when someone is leading you on. Therefore, it is crucial that we adhere to the “show, don’t tell” rule – instead of telling prospective dates all about yourself and their qualities, let them witness them themselves; for example if your profile says you’re funny share some jokes or amusing stories to illustrate this quality.
Be wary of red flags when using free apps. Look out for profiles with edited or stolen photos; those asking too much personal information too quickly; as well as apps that automatically disconnect after a set amount of time without you reconnecting at an extra fee.
Last but not least, don’t shy away from hard work. Though finding quality dates through apps may take more time and energy, the effort will pay off in the end. Just stay positive, set clear goals and use our tips above to help make success possible!
Jeff Jordy, 61, an AARP digital content manager who has used several dating services over time. He advises limiting the number of apps used and selecting only two that offer you the greatest chance of finding love.
This article originally appeared on AARP.org and is reproduced here with permission.
To better navigate the world of dating apps, visit AARP’s Dating Toolkit and download their special report “Finding Love on Dating Apps.”
