What to Do When Someone Ghosts You on Dating Apps
Understanding Ghosting
Ghosting refers to the practice of cutting off all communication with someone without explanation. In the context of dating apps, this might mean matching with someone, having a seemingly great conversation, perhaps even meeting up, only to have them suddenly stop responding to messages without any warning or closure.
People ghost for various reasons. Some find it easier than having difficult conversations about their lack of interest. Others might be overwhelmed by dating multiple people simultaneously. Some individuals ghost due to their own insecurities or fear of rejection. Understanding these motivations doesn’t excuse the behavior but can help you process the experience with greater perspective.
Immediate Reactions to Ghosting
Being ghosted can trigger a range of emotions—confusion, hurt, anger, and even a blow to self-esteem. These feelings are entirely valid. Many people question what they did wrong or why they weren’t “good enough” to receive a proper response.
Permit yourself to feel these emotions without judgment. Acknowledge your disappointment and sit with it momentarily. However, be careful not to spiral into negative thought patterns, attributing the ghosting to your worth or value.
Assessing the Situation
Before concluding you’ve been ghosted, consider other possibilities. Has it only been a day or two? They might be busy with work or family obligations. Did your last message require a response? Sometimes, conversations naturally taper off. Has there been any activity on their profile? In rare cases, serious circumstances like illness or emergencies could explain their silence.
While these scenarios are possible, be realistic. If it’s been over a week with no response despite your follow-up messages, it’s likely that ghosting has occurred.
How to Respond to Being Ghosted
First, give it time—at least a few days—before reaching out again. If you decide to send a final message, keep it light and casual: “Hey, just checking in to see how you’re doing!” or “Would still love to grab that coffee we talked about if you’re interested.”
If there’s still no response after one follow-up message, it’s time to accept the reality and move on. Sending multiple messages can come across as pressuring and is unlikely to change the outcome. Remember that closure is something you give yourself, not something you receive from others.
Emotional Coping Strategies
Self-care is essential after experiencing ghosting. Engage in activities that boost your mood and self-esteem—whether that’s exercise, time with friends, or indulging in a favorite hobby. Remind yourself that the ghosting reflects the other person’s communication style and emotional availability, not your worth.
Consider discussing your experience with trusted friends who can offer perspective and emotional support. Online communities dedicated to dating experiences can also provide validation and advice from others who have faced similar situations.
Learning from the Experience
Use this opportunity for self-reflection. Review your conversations to see if there were any signs you might have missed. Was there a sudden shift in communication patterns? Did you share values and relationship goals? This isn’t about blaming yourself but about becoming more discerning in future interactions.
Each dating experience, even disappointing ones, builds emotional resilience. Over time, you’ll likely find that ghosting affects you less as you develop thicker skin while maintaining an open heart.
Proactive Measures to Prevent Future Ghosting
While you can’t control others’ behavior, you can set clear expectations early on. Express your communication preferences and ask about theirs. Pay attention to how consistently they communicate and whether they follow through on small commitments like planned video calls or dates.
Watch for red flags like vague answers about availability, excessive cancellations, or inconsistent conversation engagement. These may indicate someone who isn’t fully invested or might be more likely to ghost later.
The Impact of Ghosting on Online Dating Culture
Normalizing ghosting has created a culture where disposability seems acceptable in human connections. This erosion of basic courtesy makes it harder for people to trust and be vulnerable in new relationships.
By committing to direct, honest communication in your own dating life—even when it’s uncomfortable—you contribute to a healthier dating environment. When ending conversations with someone, a simple message like “I’ve enjoyed chatting but don’t feel the connection I’m looking for” can make a significant difference.
Moving Forward with Resilience
Being ghosted doesn’t define your dating journey or your worthiness of finding connection. The right people will appreciate your authenticity and communicate respectfully, even if they’re not interested romantically.
Maintain healthy optimism by focusing on quality interactions rather than quantity. Take breaks from dating apps when needed to reset your expectations and energy. Remember that online dating is just one avenue for meeting potential partners, and the right connection often comes when least expected.
As dating coach Damona Hoffman wisely states, “Dating resilience isn’t about never getting hurt—it’s about how quickly you can bounce back and what you learn in the process.”
Ghosting may be an unfortunate reality in today’s dating landscape, but with the right mindset and boundaries, you can navigate these experiences while protecting your emotional well-being and remaining open to the meaningful connection you deserve.
Share Your Experience
Have you been ghosted on dating apps? How did you handle it? Share your experiences or questions in the comments below, and subscribe to our newsletter for more advice on navigating the complexities of modern dating with confidence and authenticity.
