5 Romantic Getaway Mistakes That Kill Romance (And How to Fix Them)
Mistake #1: Over-Planning Every Single Moment
We get it—you want everything to be perfect. You’ve researched every restaurant, booked activities for each day, and created an itinerary that would make a travel agent weep with joy. But here’s the thing: romance thrives in spontaneous moments, not rigid schedules.
Dr. Sarah Martinez, Relationship Therapist: “The most romantic moments often happen in the unplanned spaces between activities. When couples over-schedule, they miss opportunities for organic connection and end up feeling like they’re checking boxes rather than enjoying each other’s company.”
Instead of cramming every hour with activities, try the 50/50 rule: plan half your time and leave the other half completely open. This gives you structure while preserving space for those magical “let’s just see what happens” moments that often become your favorite memories.
Build in buffer time between activities, and don’t be afraid to skip something if you’re having too much fun where you are. The goal isn’t to see everything—it’s to connect with each other.
Mistake #2: Choosing Destinations Based on Instagram, Not Your Relationship
Social media has a lot to answer for when it comes to romantic getaway pressure. That stunning Santorini sunset looks amazing on your feed, but if your partner gets motion sickness on boats and you both hate crowds, maybe the Greek islands aren’t your romantic paradise.
The most romantic destination is one that speaks to both of your personalities and interests. Love quiet mornings together? A mountain cabin might trump a bustling city break. Enjoy trying new foods together? A culinary tour could be more romantic than a beach resort.
Travel Expert Marcus Chen: “The best romantic getaways aren’t about the destination’s reputation—they’re about how the destination makes you feel together. A cozy bed and breakfast two hours from home can be infinitely more romantic than an expensive resort that doesn’t match your vibe.”
Before booking anything, have an honest conversation about what you both find romantic. Do you prefer adventure or relaxation? City energy or natural beauty? Active exploration or peaceful downtime? Your ideal getaway should reflect your shared preferences, not what looks good on camera.
Mistake #3: Forgetting to Discuss Expectations Before You Go
Here’s a scenario that plays out more often than you’d think: One partner envisions lazy mornings in bed and intimate dinners, while the other has mentally planned hiking adventures and museum visits. Neither is wrong, but without alignment, someone’s going to be disappointed.
The solution is surprisingly simple: talk about your expectations before you pack your bags. What does a perfect romantic getaway look like to each of you? What are your non-negotiables? What are you hoping to feel during and after the trip?
This conversation might reveal that you want different things, and that’s okay. The magic happens when you find ways to blend your visions or alternate between different types of activities. Maybe mornings are for his love of exploration, and evenings are for her preference for intimate connection.
Couples Therapist Dr. Jennifer Walsh: “Unspoken expectations are relationship landmines. When couples take time to share their hopes and concerns before a getaway, they’re setting themselves up for success rather than disappointment.”
Mistake #4: Bringing Work and Daily Stress Along for the Ride
You’ve traveled hundreds of miles to escape your routine, but somehow your phone is still buzzing with work emails and your mind is still racing with to-do lists. Sound familiar? This is one of the fastest ways to kill romance before it even has a chance to bloom.
Creating boundaries around work and daily stressors isn’t just nice—it’s essential for romance. Your getaway should be a sacred space where you’re fully present with each other, not mentally juggling conference calls and grocery lists.
Start by setting phone boundaries. Designate specific times for checking messages (maybe 30 minutes each morning) and then put devices away. Consider using airplane mode during romantic dinners, sunset walks, or intimate conversations.
If you absolutely must be reachable for emergencies, set up an auto-responder that manages expectations about response times. Most “urgent” matters can wait 24-48 hours, and those that can’t will find another way to reach you.
Mindfulness Coach Lisa Rodriguez: “Romance requires presence. When we’re mentally elsewhere, we miss the small moments that create deep connection—the way your partner looks in golden hour light, the sound of their laugh over dinner, the feeling of their hand in yours during a quiet walk.”
Mistake #5: Pressuring Yourselves to Have “Perfect” Romance
Here’s the romance killer nobody talks about: the pressure to have movie-perfect romantic moments. You know the expectation—every sunset should be breathtaking, every dinner should be candlelit perfection, every moment should feel like a Nicholas Sparks novel.
Real romance is messier and more wonderful than Hollywood would have you believe. It’s laughing when it rains during your beach picnic, finding humor when you get lost trying to find that “perfect” restaurant, and choosing to see adventures in your misadventures.
The most romantic moments often happen when things don’t go according to plan. Getting caught in an unexpected downpour might lead to dancing in the rain. A closed restaurant might introduce you to a hidden gem around the corner. Flight delays might give you unplanned time to really talk.
Instead of chasing perfection, chase connection. Focus on how you handle surprises together, how you support each other when things go sideways, and how you create joy even when circumstances aren’t ideal.
Relationship Coach David Kim: “The couples who have the most romantic getaways aren’t the ones who experience perfection—they’re the ones who choose to find romance in whatever happens. Flexibility and humor are aphrodisiacs.”
Planning Your Next Romantic Getaway: A Better Approach
Now that we’ve covered what not to do, let’s talk about what actually works. The best romantic getaways start with intention, not just reservation confirmations.
Begin by asking yourselves what you want to feel during your getaway. Connected? Adventurous? Peaceful? Passionate? Once you’re clear on the emotional goal, you can make decisions that support that feeling.
Consider your relationship’s current season. Are you in a high-stress period that calls for pure relaxation? Are you feeling disconnected and need activities that require teamwork? Are you celebrating something special that deserves extra romance? Let your relationship’s needs guide your planning.
When it comes to logistics, remember that romance often lives in the details that show thoughtfulness. Pack your partner’s favorite snacks for the journey. Download their favorite playlist for the drive. Bring something that signals your intention to connect—maybe a book of conversation starters, a couples journal, or simply the commitment to really listen to each other.
Making Romance Last Beyond the Getaway
The real test of a romantic getaway isn’t how you feel during the trip—it’s how those feelings translate back into your daily life. The best getaways don’t just create temporary romance; they remind you why you chose each other and give you tools to keep choosing each other.
Before you return home, take time to talk about what you loved most about your time together. What moments made you feel closest? What do you want to recreate in your regular routine? How can you carry the intentionality of your getaway into your everyday relationship?
Marriage Counselor Dr. Rachel Thompson: “The most successful couples use romantic getaways as relationship research. They pay attention to what brings them joy together and then find ways to incorporate those elements into their daily lives.”
Your romantic getaway doesn’t have to end when you unpack your suitcase. It can be the beginning of a more intentional, connected way of being together—one that doesn’t require a plane ticket or hotel reservation.
Remember, the goal isn’t to plan the perfect romantic getaway. It’s to create space for your love to flourish, whether that happens over candlelight or while getting caught in the rain. The romance was inside you all along—the getaway just gives it room to breathe.
