Dating a Narcissist

By Trixie Mar7,2024

At first, it seemed like a perfect romance. He took you on walks along the moonlit beach, surprised you with flowers and jewelry, and invited you to dine by candlelight. He appeared to be deeply in love with you and often praised your looks. The relationship progressed quickly, and he brought up the topic of marriage soon.

 

Dating a Narcissist

After thinking that you had found your perfect partner, he suddenly distanced himself from you. He started making excuses for not seeing you and stopped calling you as frequently. He no longer discussed a future with you and ultimately left your life.

 

It can be alluring and exhilarating to be in a relationship with a narcissist initially. You might get carried away by their charm and confidence. However, once your partner has achieved their goal of portraying themselves as the perfect match and the excitement of pursuing someone new wears off, they may lose interest and withdraw from the relationship. They might refuse to commit.

 

If your narcissistic partner doesn’t want to leave you, they may start showing you their less desirable traits. Soon enough, you’ll realize they care more about themselves than you. They may be good-natured if you boost their ego, but if you humiliate them, they might dismiss you or lash out in anger. In any case, a relationship with a narcissist is doomed to fail, or at the very least, it will make you miserable while being controlled by a partner who ignores your emotions.

 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition in which a person has an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Despite their outward confidence, narcissists often have low self-esteem and can feel threatened by criticism.

 

This disorder can cause problems in various areas of life, including family, work, school, and friendships. Individuals with NPD often struggle with interpersonal relationships and may have difficulty controlling their emotions and behavior.

Narcissists have an insatiable desire for attention and praise. They may become fixated on fantasies of power and success. However, it can be challenging to differentiate between genuine NPD and high self-confidence.

What are the signs that I’m dating a narcissist?

Here are eight symptoms that you might be dating a narcissist if you’re in love with someone who looks to worry more about themselves than you and the relationship.

 

If you feel like someone is taking advantage of you, they may be a narcissist. Narcissists prioritize themselves above all else, which means they will do whatever it takes to satisfy their ego, even if it means exploiting others.

 

They always bring the topic back to themselves.

Everyone loves talking about themselves, but narcissists go above and beyond. Instead of empathizing when a friend tells a narcissist about her breakup, the narcissist will begin speaking about his previous relationships. If you say to him about such a project you started at work, he will keep bringing up one among his business successes instead of questioning you much more about the project. Narcissists would always find a way to shift the conversation back to themselves, regardless of the topic.

See also  The Unique Challenges of Breaking Up with a Narcissist

 

They lack empathy.
Narcissists are insensitive and cannot empathize with others. An excellent way to test your partner’s empathy is to ask yourself, “Does he support me when I share my problems with him?” If the answer is no, this is a clear sign that your partner is not empathetic.

They have excessive sensitivity to criticism.

Nobody enjoys being criticized. However, narcissists become enraged at the mere suggestion of criticism. When criticized, they frequently fight back or give you the silent treatment. They are never at fault. Because he assumes he can do no wrong, a narcissist is unlikely to apologize.

Your partner considers himself to be entitled to everything. If you’re seeing a narcissist, your boyfriend may believe he’s better than everyone else and hence deserves special privileges and treatment. He may grow enraged and violent if you don’t feed his inflated self-image.

 

At first glance, they appear attractive and romantic!

As they’re still attempting to win you over, narcissists often appear intriguing and attractive in the early stages of a relationship. Flattery, charm, and seduction are all used by narcissists to gain your interest and make you happy and memorable. But, in the end, the narcissist isn’t fascinated with you; his courting is all a deception to get you to do what he wants.

They have big dreams for themselves.

Narcissists have an inflated sense of self and frequently regard themselves as heroes. Your boyfriend may assume you couldn’t live without him if you’re seeing a narcissist.

They are entirely preoccupied with their appearance.

A narcissist can spend hours at the gym each week or take an overwhelming number of selfies. Narcissists try to please others through their appearance to feel better about themselves. This can be physical, social, academic, sexual, or financial manifestations.

The Official Definition of a Narcissist

These are the nine official criteria for diagnosing someone with NPD (Narcissistic personality disorder).

  • The feeling of being entitled.
  • Its significance is exaggerated.
  • Empathy deficit.
  • Preoccupation with ideals of limitless success, beauty, or love.
  • Attitudes of arrogance
  • Belief in one’s superiority and uniqueness.
  • Others envy or the belief that others are envious of you.
  • Excessive adoration is required.
  • Exploitative behavior between people.
  • Although their qualities are listed, determining whether or not someone is narcissistic can be difficult, especially when seeing that person.

Am I Dating a Narcissist Quiz

1. At first, they were rather charming.

It all begins like a fairy tale, with the other person falling in love with various facets of you.

They may turn against you if you have a negative attitude the first time.

Please remember that the source of the narcissist’s displeasure may not be evident to you because it arises from their own ideas.

 

2. They dominate the conversation by bragging about how fantastic they are

Narcissists enjoy bragging about their accomplishments. They do it because it makes them feel more intelligent than everyone else and gives them a false sense of self-confidence. Narcissists are constantly preoccupied with themselves, hence why they disregard you.

 

3. Your compliments nourish them

Narcissists have low self-esteem despite their seeming confidence.

As a result, they tend to flatter (usually empathic) others by reminding them how great they are. This allows them to maintain their ego.

See also  Dating Narcissist

 

4. They have no empathy

One of the critical features of narcissists is their lack of empathy.

The inability to empathize is a common reason for divorce in narcissistic relationships.

5. They have no (or very few) long-term friends.

The majority of narcissists have no long-term friendships.

As a result, if you want to devote time to friends, they may become enraged, saying that you don’t want to spend more time with them and going to make you feel bad for doing so.

 

6. They are constantly picking on you.

It could begin as fun and then get more serious.

Anything you do or say irritates them all of a sudden.

They have the power to do or say anything to bring you down. They use this to demonstrate that they will have the ability to influence people’s emotions.

 

7. They Deceive You

Gaslighting is a narcissistic manipulative technique.

The following are some symptoms that you are being gaslighted:

  • You’re becoming more nervous and unsure of yourself.
  • You get the impression that anything you do is incorrect.
  • You begin to question if you are overly sensitive.
  • I feel bothered when you apologize.
  • When things don’t work out, you always blame yourself.
  • You express regret for your partner’s actions.

 

8. They are defining the relationship as they dance around.

While there are a variety of reasons why a person may not want to call a relationship, you could be seeing a narcissist if you notice the traits listed above in your partner. You might even observe your partner chatting with others right next to you. If you discuss your argument with your partner, he may accuse you of causing a scandal.

 

9. They believe they are always correct and never apologize

Narcissists cannot be reasoned with since they are always accurate.

If he does not listen to you, does not comprehend you, and does not accept responsibility for the situation, you may be seeing a narcissist.

 

10. Whenever you try to end with them, they panic.

Narcissists will go to great lengths to have you in their lives.

They can convince you they may have changed, but this is not true.

Last Thoughts

So, You’re Dating a Narcissist… What Now?

If you think you’re dating a narcissist, you should end the relationship.

You may break up with such a narcissist by going to counseling, reminding yourself that you deserve so much better, and gathering support from friends and family.

Please remember that an individual with NPD cannot be changed. This is because it is preferable to leave.

Please remember that this post is not meant to diagnose your spouse. Its sole purpose is to provide advice on maintaining a healthy relationship.

If your partner exhibits these traits, whether or not he is a narcissist, you are in an unhealthy relationship.

By Trixie

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